I cannot believe it is November 2014. I honestly feel as though I blinked and spring, summer, and fall have passed me by. It's winter now and the year feels like a blur. the business of life hasn't changed. My attempt at living a more green 2014 didn't change either. I'm going to have to shoot for 2015 on that one...
Now that my Master's thesis has been submitted, I have a little more 'me' time. That is, until I need to start preparing for my oral defense to earn PhD candidacy... and if I'm speaking honestly, I should have started that weeks ago. But now I'm tired. I'm really, really tired. In an attempt to break this, I'm starting with a small goal. Yes, someday I'd love to work out, eat 3 healthy meals a day, and sleep either hours a night. But that's not realistic for me right now. I had oyster crackers for supper. I'm failing in all areas 'adult'. But whatever. I don't have time to deal with that now. But I do have time to make myself drink water. That is quick and requires little effort. Sounds like an easy enough thing to do. I have decided to drink 1 oz of water for each pound I way. This puts me roughly at 100 oz of water a day. I'm going to document how my body responds and maybe even post a before and after photo. I know all of the things I list will not be fixed by drinking water, but I did want to write it all down so I can address each issue at some point in my life. It would really be nice to feel like I am in control of my life again at some point in time... whenever I have enough time to deal with it.
At the start this how I feel:
-constant headaches. Some more severe than others, but I rely heavily on medication to get me through some days. The worst are the days I go to bed with a headache and still wake up with one the next morning. My worse headaches do seem to coinside with 'that time of the month'.
-dark purple circles under my eyes.
-very dry lips.
-very dry skin.
-cold all the time.
-nails are brittle and peel and break easily.
-not many breakouts in terms of acne, so that's at least one good thing.
-when I shave I get terrible razor burn on both legs--especially my thighs.
-very dry nose to the point where it bleeds a little each day from the painful cracks.
-extremely tired. Tired to the point of feeling like I will never be fully rested again in my life.
-stressed about many things, but mostly my performance in school and about my professional future.
-my skin feels lifeless.
-my skin looks lifeless. It is lacking color and fullness--just feels like it is hanging there on my face.
-my hair is dry and has dry ends. It does shine nicely if I take the time to blow dry it, but I know I could at least use a haircut.
-My eyes often have a slight pink color to them when I look in the mirror at night. They are stressed. It is also very hard to me to read anything farther than 10 feet away without my glasses on.
-I am often not hungry, but I think that is because my stomach has shrunk due to poor eating habits--mostly not eating in general. Too busy I guess and have learned to survive with minimal amounts of food with minimal amounts of nutrition. I would not recommend this.
-I have weak ankles and knees. I can tell when I run across the street that they are on the brink of getting twisted each time. Not such a good feeling.
-I am often sad and feel bummed about being in school and my career prospects. I have a pretty good attitude on life in general and am a happy person, but school has broken me in ways I did not anticipate. It is a constant struggle to try and succeed--and most of the time I have been met with failure. It is an interesting sort of lesson to learn over and over, and I can't say I am good at dealing with it yet.
I think that is good for now. I'm excited to see what the next week brings. Most likely a lot of more time spent in the restroom...
